“If I can do it, you can do it.”

You’ve heard that fitness advice. Maybe you’ve even said the words yourself.

(Sheepishly raises hand.)

And it’s time for this cliché to end.

Especially when it comes to fitness, nutrition, and health.

Because most of the time:

It’s not true. 

Just because you can do something doesn’t mean someone else can do it.

More importantly, this phrase backfires, making people feel worse than before.

Here’s why, and the fitness advice you might want to offer instead.

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When we use this fitness advice, we usually have the best of intentions.

Maybe we’re trying to relate to a client: “Hey, I’ve been there!”

Or perhaps we’ve felt inspired by any number of news stories. Think: Blind man climbs Everest.

But there’s a problem.

No two people are exactly the same.

We might, as coaches, think we’re comparing apples (our life) to apples (our client’s life). But more likely, our client knows they’re an orange… and feels misunderstood and alienated—usually for one (or all) of the following reasons.

#1: Someone’s background impacts their health.

Things like where we’re born, how we grew up, and what we do for work shape how we eat, move, and live. They also affect our ability to change for the better.

Technically, these factors are called social determinants of health. And they can influence us positively or negatively.

Examples of social determinants include:

IncomeEducationJob stabilityWork conditionsFood access and securityHousing and environmentEarly childhood developmentSocial communityNeighborhood environmentAccess to affordable and high-quality health care

Social determinants can be more important than lifestyle choices in influencing health, according to the World Health Organization

Here’s how this can play out with clients.

You tell someone to hit the gym. If you can muster the effort to get to the gym on a busy schedule, so can your client, right?

Well no, not necessarily.

Especially if they work long hours and don’t have childcare.

Or maybe you suggest “more veggies” to a virtual client.

You don’t like veggies either, you say, but if you can find a way to eat them, your client can surely figure it out. Except, your client lives with their mother-in-law who cooks all of their main meals, which tend to include few veggies. In your client’s home, everyone thanks the cook, whether they like the food or not.

Does your client have some options? Sure—but not as many as someone who has more control over their dinner plate.

There are thousands of ways social determinants of health can make what’s possible for you (with some hard work) straight up impossible (or a whole lot harder) for someone else. Some social determinants of health are really hard to recognize—especially if you haven’t walked in that person’s shoes. So heed this universal rule of thumb: Don’t make assumptions.

#2: Every person’s body is unique.

Let’s assume you and your client have the same social circumstances.

Is it okay to say “if I can do it, you can do it?”

Spoiler alert: Nope.

Because genetics also play a role. 

Say you’re a person who puts on muscle easily. For you, maintaining a lean, athletic physique means working hard in the gym and keeping a close eye on your nutrition.

Of course, those two things require effort. Maybe a lot of effort.

But a person who has a harder time building muscle, and tends to store fat around their middle thanks to their genes?

They’re not going to get the same results as you—even if they eat and exercise exactly the same way. Those are the genetic cards they’ve been dealt.

So no—they can’t “do it” just because you can.

#3: Some people are luckier than others.

Most people who’ve worked hard to get where they are don’t want to admit that the universe might have helped them out a bit.

Imagine this: You’re an athlete competing at the CrossFit Games.

The final workout—the one that decides who’ll win—happens to be deadlift-focused, something you’re specifically great at. (If it’d been snatches, it’d be a totally different situation.)

When you win the CrossFit Games after that final workout, it doesn’t mean you haven’t worked hard. But did you also benefit from the luck of the draw? Yup.

Perhaps a more relatable example: Maybe you met a coach or friend—just as you’re ready to make a change—who revolutionizes how you think about nutrition and fitness. And that sets you down the path to a healthier lifestyle.

In an alternate universe, where you didn’t meet that amazing coach at the right time, it might’ve taken you a whole longer to get where you are today.

The point: Don’t discount the “right place, right time” effect.

3 better ways to help your clients

Use all three together—or pick what works best in a given conversation.

1. Use limited relatability.

Say someone’s going through a divorce, and their coach has been through one, too. It could be tempting to offer advice like:

“I know this is a hard time for you. My divorce was brutal! But I managed to stay on top of my nutrition while going through mine, so I know you can do it.”

Ouch.

There’s a better way to use the experiences you have in common with a client, without making assumptions about their situation.

It’s called limited relatability, which helps you relate, while also allowing your client to feel heard and understand.

To master the technique, use this simple two-step formula.

Share your experience:“I know what [fill in the blank] looks like for me.”Get curious about your client’s experience by asking an open-ended question:What does it look like for you?”

Translated to a real-life coaching conversation, you might say something like:

“That sounds tough. When I was struggling with binge eating, I felt so powerless and frustrated. What are you feeling in this moment?”

2. Notice and name the bright spot.

This strategy is all about taking a moment to appreciate and applaud what your client has just shared.

You might say:

“You know what? It actually takes pretty amazing self-awareness to identify and acknowledge that this is a barrier for you right now. What does it feel like to have such a firm grasp on your situation?”

Or maybe:

“We can talk problem-solving in a second, but before we do that, I want to pause and tell you that it’s amazing you’ve pinpointed this as an issue. I don’t know if you’d have been able to do that six months ago!”

This can be really effective because the client isn’t expecting to pause. They’re expecting ways to move forward. You’re giving them a moment to stop, take stock, and reflect on their awesomeness before taking action.

3. Inspire them with their own accomplishments.

Let’s say your client’s apprehensive about the idea of shutting down earlier to get more sleep.

Instead of that old “if I can do it, you can do it” advice, try highlighting their past accomplishments. That could sound like:

“You know what? You actually told me this exact same thing a couple of months ago about going to the gym. And now you’re going regularly! We can talk about specific strategies to make going to bed earlier more doable, but also, remember how far you’ve come.”

Basically, instead of saying “if I can do it, you can do it,” you’re saying, “if you can do this one thing, you can do this other thing!”

You’re showing them that you see their hard work.

And most importantly, because of that hard work, you believe in them.

When you use the above strategies with your clients, you’ll accomplish something that the phrase “If I can do it, so can you” just can’t:

You’ll help them feel heard, seen, and valued.

That’ll go a long way towards strengthening your relationship—and ultimately help your clients get better results.

Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification. The next group kicks off shortly.

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If you’re a coach, or you want to be…

Learning how to coach clients, patients, friends, or family members through healthy eating and lifestyle changes—in a way that’s personalized for their unique body, preferences, and circumstances—is both an art and a science.

If you’d like to learn more about both, consider the Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification.

Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification.

–>

The post Truly horrible fitness advice: “If I can do it, you can do it.” appeared first on Precision Nutrition.

Did you miss our previous article…
https://trailsmart.org/?p=181

The moment Dr. Karin Nordin exited the Zoom call, she knew she’d made a crucial mistake.

It was her first coaching session with a brand-new client, and from the get-go, things felt a little off.

The client (let’s call her Dierdre) was feeling emotional. Within minutes, tears were shed.

And when Dr. Nordin offered advice, Dierdre swiftly rejected it.

That’s when Nordin, a mild-mannered person and seasoned professional, did something out of character:

She got mad.

Instead of applying her coaching expertise, she found herself ranting at Deirdre, challenging her excuses, and trying to force her to change.

Naturally, the more insistent Nordin got, the more obstinate Deirdre became.

By the time she closed her laptop, Dr. Nordin knew without a doubt… that client wasn’t coming back.

What do you do when you screw up?

Turns out, you can learn from Dr. Nordin’s experience. 

Nordin’s a PN Certified coach, a curriculum advisor to Precision Nutrition, and has a PhD in Health Communication.

She also considers herself a pro at making mistakes. Well, not just making mistakes, but growing from them.

Her academic and professional expertise is in something called growth mindset, which views mistakes and failures as springboards for improvement.

(And yes, the term “growth mindset” is almost a cliché these days, but it’s an actual research-based psychological discipline, and something we can all benefit from.)

Here’s how Dr. Nordin bounced-back from her mistake—and how you can do the same.

(For even more helpful coaching advice, sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter, The Smartest Coach in the Room.)

Step 1. If you feel compelled to fix it right now… wait.

You know that almost barfy feeling you get when you mess up?

Dr. Nordin feels it too. After her conversation with Dierdre, “I felt vomity and gross for a while. I kept thinking, ‘I handled that so poorly, this is the worst’.”

While her natural impulse was to try to fix her mistake, she chose to wait a full 24 hours before taking action.

“We want to be able to react in a neutral state, or as neutral as possible,” she explains. “And that can take a bit of time.”

In other words, the classic ‘sleep on it’ advice still applies. Of course, that can take a bit of discipline (especially if your tendency is to fix things right away.)

“I knew I’d be thinking about it while I lay in bed at night,” says Nordin, “but with a bit of distance I was able to respond to the situation much better.”

The takeaway: Your inclination might be to try to make things right, immediately. But don’t rush. You’ll likely respond from a calmer, more rational headspace the following day.

Step 2. Practice radical responsibility.

A big part of coaching is helping clients recognize the autonomy and control they have over their choices and actions.

This is empowering: Clients begin to realize they have what it takes to change their habits, and achieve their goals.

That same principle applies to coaches, too. Especially after we’ve goofed up.

“I find it very useful to take a ‘radical responsibility’ perspective,” says Nordin.

“No matter the situation, I say to myself: Let’s just pretend for a moment that 100 percent of this is my fault. Then, on that basis, I ask myself: What can I do about it?”

Depending on your mistake, the answer might be obvious.

For example, if you gave a client information that turned out to be wrong, simply own up to the mistake and provide them with the correct details.

But even if the mistake was more cringe-worthy, Nordin says acknowledgment is still a good way to go.

In the case with Dierdre, Nordin waited 24 hours—and then penned an email that went something like this:

Hey Dierdre, 

I know our conversation got really heated, and I apologize for that. What you do in your life is 100 percent your choice—not mine.

I totally understand that you don’t want to move forward with coaching, and I’ve refunded your deposit. 

Thank you for your time. I wish you the best in all your future endeavors.

The takeaway: Resist the temptation to blame the client, deny the mistake, justify it, or sweep it under the rug. Take ownership for your actions, and do your best to right the wrong. This approach is not only more professional—it’s also more empowering.

Step 3. Look for the growth opportunity.

Once you’ve done the right thing on behalf of the client, consider what you can learn from the experience.

“My mistake taught me a lot about my coaching practice and how to market myself as a behavior change coach,” says Nordin.

Her biggest realization?

That she hadn’t properly communicated to Dierdre what to expect in their coaching session. “I think she expected someone who would just listen to her and help her sort through her emotional issues, whereas my coaching is more about habit change.”

And yes, client resistance is a normal part of change. But if Nordin had given Dierdre a better idea of what her behavior coaching typically entails, they might have avoided the conflict.

“It wasn’t Deirdre’s fault. Many people don’t know what behavior change coaching is all about,” adds Nordin. “I need to do a better job helping people understand what to expect when they work with me.”

The takeaway: Don’t beat yourself up for your mistake. Instead, focus on how you can use it as a learning experience. Aim to come up with at least one thing you’ll work on improving or do differently next time.

Step 4. Get curious with yourself.

In addition to professional growth, mistakes can be an opportunity to understand ourselves better.

Sure, sometimes mistakes are just mistakes—caused by inexperience or lack of knowledge. But they often point to areas where we can dig deeper.

“This is especially the case if it becomes a pattern,” says Nordin. “For example, if you find yourself repeatedly getting aggravated or tense, you might be projecting your issues onto the client.”

After the situation with Dierdre, Dr. Nordin asked herself, “Why did I get so mad about that?”

Ultimately, she decided that her emotional outburst had been triggered by some personal issues that she’d been neglecting.

So, being the growth-minded person she is, she decided to explore them with a therapist.

The takeaway: Do some honest self-reflection. Sure, “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” (That’s a Sigmund Freud quote, in case you’ve never seen it.)

On the other hand, some blunders (especially repeated ones) could serve as a wake-up call, or even a personal breakthrough.

Yes, mistakes might suck in the moment. But if you can approach them with curiosity, an open mind, and a dose of compassion, they just might make you a better coach—and a happier person.

Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification. The next group kicks off shortly.

–>

If you’re a coach, or you want to be…

Learning how to coach clients, patients, friends, or family members through healthy eating and lifestyle changes—in a way that’s personalized for their unique body, preferences, and circumstances—is both an art and a science.

If you’d like to learn more about both, consider the Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification.

Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification.

–>

The post So you made a mistake with a client—now what? appeared first on Precision Nutrition.